This story has no point. I simply wanted to share...
I broke up
with my guy over the weekend. Technically, our break-up started the
first of the year but after many conversations between us, it became
painfully official this weekend. We’d been “on-again/off-again” because
of the kind of passion/connection/great sex, folks write movies about. I
always took him back because I love him. He has so many of the
qualities that I desire in a mate, it was very easy for me to
purposefully ignore the things he didn’t have, those essential things
that I require in a committed relationship, to feel loved and secure.
But,
unlike the movies, no matter how intense the passion/connection/great
sex was, the obvious could no longer be brushed aside. I couldn’t ignore
it anymore. He was not ready for what I wanted.
It is the right thing to do for each of us...but it still hurts.
I
feel like a pendulum incessantly swinging between what I KNOW is best
for me and what MIGHT’VE been best for me. I love him but I know that I
can’t change him, so I am moving on because I deserve someone who is
ready for what I have to offer and is mentally prepared to reciprocate.
In
all honesty, I am not strong when it comes to him and my heart hurts.
He was (is) my best friend, as well as my lover and I miss him.
Although, I am not a fool, I am not entirely sensible when it comes to
him. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow but today was the day I
acknowledged that it is really over. Today is the last day that I mourn
for what could've/would've/should've been. Tomorrow is a new day and I
intend to greet it with a new perspective and fresh eyes.
I am exactly where I need to be.
Thank you for reading.
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