Ladies and Gentleman: We are letting our egos rule us. We discard people and relationships now-a-days not because they were trying to take advantage of us but because they didn't stroke our ego the way we like. They didn't validate our image of self or our poor choices so to "protect" our ego (instead of improving self or making better choices), we lash out! We blame one another. We call each other names (like "deadbeat" or "sidechick" or "dog" or "whore" or "real" or "good"). We point fingers. We seek to de-value others. We set fire to the rain, dammit! LOL! It's a fierce revolving cycle that never lets up - until we (men and women, alike) decide to "get off the ride". And we must, eventually...get off the ride. Why? Because we're doing more harm than good. Let me explain...
It's not a dirty word! Ego. EGO! Ego. See? No lighting strike or fire from the heavens. It's just a word - our actions are what give this word it's negative connotations. We make the "self first before others" mentality somehow bad - even though we all react in "self-first" behaviors everyday and everyway. Don't believe me? Okay, check this out:
"How will this <insert situation/circumstance> benefit ME?"
"What do I 'get' out of this?"
"Doing this <insert action/choice> makes ME feel good!"
"I love the way - it/he/she/they/worshiping God/ buying this item/volunteering my time - makes ME feel."
"I've been sacrificing and 'doing' for them, so they'll love ME and if they don't - I'll stop sacrificing!"
"I have to defend my <insert stance/ opinion/ faith/ belief> so I don't look bad or feel bad or be made to feel 'less than' someone else."
"He treats ME like a queen!"
"She makes ME feel like a king!"
And so on. And so on...it's all ego. Look familiar?
There are some folks who'll aggressively disagree. <laughs> I expect it. No one wants to be labeled as "ego-tistical" and we all WANT to be seen as self-LESS not self-ISH. Right?
Oh, well. Guess what?! WE ARE ALL SELFISH AND SELF-FOCUSED!
(Side Note: If you're feeling 'some kind of way' about that last statement in all caps, it's probably because I pinged your ego - "Who does she think she think is, actin' like she know me?! She don't know me?!" You're absolutely right. I don't know you. But, I do know that what you're feeling, is the emotional reaction to your need and desire to protect yourself - your image of your SELF - from my perceived "attack". Oops! Wasn't my intention. Sorry. Just providing some perspective a large majority can relate to, to make my point. LOL!)
No matter we "say", display to the world or bury beneath religious dogma, we cannot ignore the fact that every single action, choice, decision and behavior can be rooted back - no matter how intricate or convoluted the path - to our ego. Period.
Here's the thing, ya'll - I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel or overturn modern day psychological advances with this long post. <laughs> I'm too lazy for all that nonsense but I do have a point. My point? We need to come to terms with how we define "ego" in our lives, how we "feed" our ego, what triggers those "ego-protection"-behaviors and how we navigate our intimate/ personal/ professional relationships with this simple truth.
[Personally, I believe the "self first" mentality - the ego - is meant to protect us, keep us from allowing manipulation, wrong-doers and life's difficult trials from taking advantage of or breaking and "killing" the compassionate, vulnerable parts of us. We must love, value and honor ourselves (FIRST!) before anyone will be able to do it. Right? Well, this is why the ego has its place. Yet, we have allowed the ego's true function to become distorted. We are spending more time protecting and feeding our ego, than we are allowing our ego to protect and keep US - who we truly are, behind our masks - grounded, compassionate and vulnerable in the midst of trials/ tribulations/ opinions/ societal pressures and other outside stimulus.]
And so on. And so on...it's all ego. Look familiar?
There are some folks who'll aggressively disagree. <laughs> I expect it. No one wants to be labeled as "ego-tistical" and we all WANT to be seen as self-LESS not self-ISH. Right?
Oh, well. Guess what?! WE ARE ALL SELFISH AND SELF-FOCUSED!
(Side Note: If you're feeling 'some kind of way' about that last statement in all caps, it's probably because I pinged your ego - "Who does she think she think is, actin' like she know me?! She don't know me?!" You're absolutely right. I don't know you. But, I do know that what you're feeling, is the emotional reaction to your need and desire to protect yourself - your image of your SELF - from my perceived "attack". Oops! Wasn't my intention. Sorry. Just providing some perspective a large majority can relate to, to make my point. LOL!)
No matter we "say", display to the world or bury beneath religious dogma, we cannot ignore the fact that every single action, choice, decision and behavior can be rooted back - no matter how intricate or convoluted the path - to our ego. Period.
Here's the thing, ya'll - I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel or overturn modern day psychological advances with this long post. <laughs> I'm too lazy for all that nonsense but I do have a point. My point? We need to come to terms with how we define "ego" in our lives, how we "feed" our ego, what triggers those "ego-protection"-behaviors and how we navigate our intimate/ personal/ professional relationships with this simple truth.
[Personally, I believe the "self first" mentality - the ego - is meant to protect us, keep us from allowing manipulation, wrong-doers and life's difficult trials from taking advantage of or breaking and "killing" the compassionate, vulnerable parts of us. We must love, value and honor ourselves (FIRST!) before anyone will be able to do it. Right? Well, this is why the ego has its place. Yet, we have allowed the ego's true function to become distorted. We are spending more time protecting and feeding our ego, than we are allowing our ego to protect and keep US - who we truly are, behind our masks - grounded, compassionate and vulnerable in the midst of trials/ tribulations/ opinions/ societal pressures and other outside stimulus.]
Why must we argue with stranges over matters that are based on personal, individual choices? Ego.
Why must we resort to name-calling, when facts will suffice to support our point? Ego.
Why must we "war" with the opposite sex about matters that require effort and improvement from both sexes? Ego.
I don't have "all" the answers, I'm growing and learning just like eah of you but I do know this: If we can't get a true understanding of "ego" and how our everyday interactions are colored by it - our personal, professional, community and global relationships will continue to struggle, deteriorate and increasingly fail. We got to get our heads right about this - our children are watching.
I don't have "all" the answers, I'm growing and learning just like eah of you but I do know this: If we can't get a true understanding of "ego" and how our everyday interactions are colored by it - our personal, professional, community and global relationships will continue to struggle, deteriorate and increasingly fail. We got to get our heads right about this - our children are watching.
Nankurunaisa!
[Edited 1-1-2014]
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