Cutting People Out!

This is AWESOME! It's simple and true.

I love everything about this quote, which caused me to consider a thing or two about a thing or two...

I think as adults, we need to acknowledge that this concept work both ways! I remove folks from my life, for ME...and other people remove ME from THEIR lives, for themselves. See how that works? I’m just saying!

If someone chooses to remove me from their lives, I respect their decision. They are “cleaning their proverbial house”. No reason for ME to get angry at THEM - they walked away from me, choosing a different path. Good for them. I’m a firm believer in life’s ability to fill a void when created. <shrugs> I can’t control other folks. I can only control me, so I choose to be happy, whether they’re walking with me...or not. Keep it moving.

Yet...some folks may not fully comprehend the subtlety of this statement when it is applied directly to THEIR lives, by THEIR “loved ones”. Seriously. When people start "cleaning" their proverbial houses – the “cut-off” person...LOSE THEIR MINDS! They are surprised/offended/angry/hurt/belligerent. <laughs> I mean, they are freaking traumatized! It gets a little hairy!

Things the “Cut-off” Person does...

--They tell LIES about the other person. (ex. “So-and-So ACTS like she TOO GOOD to SPEAK to me anymore!” etc.)

--They try to justify the ACTIONS that caused them to get cut-off. (ex. "I’d’ve done things DIFFERENT if SHE/HE/THEY had just said something! Things would’ve been MUCH different!" Etc.)

--They stomp away from the other person with various degrees of surprise/offense/anger/hurt/belligerence wrapped in piss and vinegar! (...in extreme cases! LOLZ!!!)

I could go on and on and on (and on and on and on) but I won’t because the simple fact is...IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM!!!

<laughs>

ANYWAY! I really love this quote!

Relationship Question: One Response.

I roam on the inter-webs, frequently running into questions that give me pause; this was one such a question...

Do we, black women, believe so little in our men - in love in general that we just don't "know" we'll marry one day, only hope it'll happen? Do we early-on only think: "I'm going have a boyfriend,  or worst, bady-daddy?" Is marriage really something black women believe can happen for them?

  

My response...

I think folks (white or otherwise) emulate what they see - we are influenced by our circumstance. If I am surrounded by married folks (committed or adulterous) from a young age, then marriage will become a part of what being a grown-up means and its “importance” will hold weight. If I am surrounded by perpetually single folks (bitter or happy) from a young age, then, the “importance” of marriage will have less weight. Doesn't make it wrong or right just reality.

I’ll also add, from my personal experience, there seems to be more conversations had, in the black community, about what we DON’T want, than what we claim we DO want. Example: Folks can spend hours and hours and hours talking about cheaters/deadbeat-dads/liars/no-good-men/not-stroking-egos...but when asked to site examples of how to support a man (or women) mentally and emotionally...folks becomes quiet. Everyone seems to have commentary about the negative aspects of marriage but few are willing to discuss the realities of what a positive committed relationship requires. It's easier that way. Also, some folks get caught in the trap of, "If that relationship didn't work, the next one won't either." and they give up...and claim happiness in single-hood when they really want to be in a healthy, committed relationship.

I have never, ever (EVER!) lost faith in the fact that there are plenty of willing men and women (black and otherwise) available and desiring of a healthy, committed relationship/marriage. <laughs> The truth is out there!